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Posts Tagged ‘frivilous lawsuits’


Man Sues Royals Over Hurled Hot Dog

By EliKen on Saturday, May 19th, 2012 | No Comments

Here in the star chamber, i.e., The Curmudgeon offices, we are no stranger to frivolous lawsuits. We have expressed our outrage over them previously, not to mention that we were once sued by a man claiming that his head exploded after reading one of our posts. So when a Kansas City man sued the Royals [...]

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Man Sues Royals Over Hurled Hot Dog

By EliKen on Thursday, May 17th, 2012 | No Comments

Here in the star chamber, i.e., The Curmudgeon offices, we are no stranger to frivolous lawsuits. We have expressed our outrage over them previously, not to mention that we were once sued by a man claiming that his head exploded after reading one of our posts. So when a Kansas City man sued the Royals [...]

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Stupid Kid Electrocutes Own Nipples, Sues School

By EliKen on Tuesday, May 15th, 2012 | No Comments

Here in the offices of The Curmudgeon, the big boss (that’s me) doesn’t tolerate lawsuits against Crusty Curmudgeon Enterprises, hereinafter referred to as The Company. As an example, when an employee stormed into my office claiming his stapler was faulty, which caused a puncture wound to the alleged victim, hereinafter referred to as “azzole,” and [...]

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Girl Steps Into Open Sewer While Texting

By EliKen on Monday, April 9th, 2012 | No Comments

Here in the posh pad that is The Curmudgeon offices, I see texting going on all the time. The youngsters particularly seem to enjoy it, and they traipse up and down the hall, on their way to the restroom or the copy room or the conference room or O’Reilly’s Pub, the little place I run [...]

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Has the Jury Reached a Verdict?

By EliKen on Saturday, March 31st, 2012 | No Comments

Here in the natural habitat of The Curmudgeon, I guess we’re what you call animal lovers. I’m personally not militant about it, but I think animals are cool and we should probably keep them around, and when I hear about “vanishing species” and animal abuse, it really gets my goat. So I was tickled to [...]

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Has the Jury Reached a Verdict?

By EliKen on Thursday, March 22nd, 2012 | No Comments

Here in the natural habitat of The Curmudgeon, I guess we’re what you call animal lovers. I’m personally not militant about it, but I think animals are cool and we should probably keep them around, and when I hear about “vanishing species” and animal abuse, it really gets my goat. So I was tickled to [...]

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Woman Sues Cap’n Crunch Because ‘Crunchberries’ Are Not Fruit

By EliKen on Friday, December 9th, 2011 | No Comments

Here in the food conscience but not cuisine restricted offices of the Curmudgeon, we like to start every day with a little breakfast, which generally consists of a piece of fruit. The occasional bowl of cereal is also consumed, and since we believe that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, we do [...]

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