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Posts Tagged ‘culture’

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Facebook Felon Runs Criminal Empire From Prison

By EliKen on Tuesday, April 3rd, 2012 | No Comments

Photo by pavelm on flickr. Adapted by Christopher Reilly Here in the open offices of The Curmudgeon, employees are free to go and come at their convenience, though I’m sure they feel incarcerated due to my strict adherence to deadlines. I don’t know what they have to complain about. Even when they are locked in [...]

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Has the Jury Reached a Verdict?

By EliKen on Saturday, March 31st, 2012 | No Comments

Here in the natural habitat of The Curmudgeon, I guess we’re what you call animal lovers. I’m personally not militant about it, but I think animals are cool and we should probably keep them around, and when I hear about “vanishing species” and animal abuse, it really gets my goat. So I was tickled to [...]

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U.S. To Build a $1 Billion London Embassy – With a Moat!

By EliKen on Friday, March 30th, 2012 | No Comments

Here in the fantasy offices of The Curmudgeon, we like to dream about our new world headquarters. I say “dream,” because we can never actually afford to build it, but then we don’t have the American taxpayers to foot the bill. Not so for the U.S. Government, who can build a $1 Billion embassy with [...]

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Man Bites Off Friend’s Penis and Swallows

By EliKen on Tuesday, March 27th, 2012 | No Comments

Here in the well-appointed but not posh Curmudgeon offices, lunchtime is approaching. Usually, the staff fends for themselves, or we all order Chinese or Deli, or we have an ersatz business meeting at one of the local brew-pubs, with steaks, chops, burgers, oysters, salads, and cold, frosty artisan beers. Not today though. Maybe never again. [...]

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Teen Fad Hugging: Why are Adults Freaking Out?

By EliKen on Saturday, March 24th, 2012 | No Comments

Here in the touchy-feely offices of The Crusty Curmudgeon, we are huggers all. I suppose this is because my erstwhile crack staff takes their cue from me. I am a touchy-feely guy, due to my upbringing and young adulthood in show business. Us performers are huggers, and are quick to touch a woman’s hand or [...]

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OctoMom: Porn for $1 Mil or Diapers for 1 Year?

By EliKen on Friday, March 23rd, 2012 | No Comments

Here in the lush offices of The Curmudgeon, some of our staff are trashy but by no means sleazy. And I mean the good kind of trashy. You know what I’m talking about? Like (insert favorite female pop star here) in that video (insert name of song here) just makes you want to (insert vile [...]

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Boxxy, “an hero,” and other Internet Horror Stories

By EliKen on Friday, March 23rd, 2012 | No Comments

Here at the opinionated but not acidulous Curmudgeon, we are Internet-savvy in all things Internet. At least I thought so, but I am apparently not, at least not to the professorial degree I thought I was. Perhaps someone on my staff should have filled me in on a couple of things. I would think that [...]

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Has the Jury Reached a Verdict?

By EliKen on Thursday, March 22nd, 2012 | No Comments

Here in the natural habitat of The Curmudgeon, I guess we’re what you call animal lovers. I’m personally not militant about it, but I think animals are cool and we should probably keep them around, and when I hear about “vanishing species” and animal abuse, it really gets my goat. So I was tickled to [...]

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PETA and Punxsutawney Phil Go Shadowboxing

By EliKen on Sunday, March 11th, 2012 | No Comments

Here in the affable offices of The Curmudgeon, we enjoy an amusing anecdote, a charming custom, and all things homespun. We are in fact, highly agreeable co-workers – as far as co-workers go – and yet there are some employees I would like to change for animatronics, since they appear to be slightly mechanical anyway. [...]

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Secret Sex Codes Teens Are Using

By EliKen on Saturday, February 25th, 2012 | 3 Comments

Here in the secretive but not acronym-heavy offices of The Curmudgeon, we are having a good laugh over the list of the top 50 acronyms teens are using on the Internet and in text messages to keep their parents from knowing what they are talking about. While the list has been around for a couple [...]

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